I had a #momfail moment this past weekend. It wasn’t a moment that I could have predicted nor could I have planned for. I guess that’s why it still stings when I think about it.
This past Sunday was a gorgeous warm sunny day. I was excited to teach Sunday School with my edubestie at our local church. My daughters and I stopped to use the bathroom before heading into the classroom. As we left, I held the door open for my daughters. I started talking to them as we were heading out the door. As I let go of the door, my three-year-old cried out, “My fingers! My fingers!” Oblivious to her screams at that exact moment, I’m looking up at friends in church and smiling at them. I absorbed the panicked looks on their faces and looked back at my daughters. I think time froze for a few seconds. Ok, it probably didn’t, but I felt like it did. I heard my daughter’s panicked cry for help this time and quickly opened the door so she could pull her crushed teensy tiny fingers out of the tiny space between the door hinge. She was shaking, crying, and her fingers had already become swollen and purple.
“Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting through the wind wanting to start again
Do you ever feel, feel so paper-thin
Like a house of cards one blow from caving in”
My immediate reaction was to leave and seek the comfort of home. My second reaction was to pray as I questioned what to do next. I held onto my daughter with comfort and grace and sang to her. We walked into the classroom and my edubestie helped comfort “us.” She gave my daughter a stuffed animal to squeeze and I helped her put ice on her fingers. We ended up staying until the very end. I had a wonderful Sunday school lesson, and we got through the bump in our road together.
“Do you know that there’s still a chance for you
Cause there’s a spark in you
You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July”
As a teacher…and a mom…my mind has preset lesson plans for each day. Sometimes I wish I could change the way I mentally pre-plan. I am flexible within those plans when it comes to extending time, modifying, making accommodations, and even setting goals. However, when something occurs that I did not predict…it takes my brain (and my level of anxiety) longer to calibrate and adapt to change. It makes me wonder do some students also feel this way? Do I have a fixed mindset? Will I always have that mom/teacher way of thinking?
No matter how much we plan, prepare, practice, and protect, we cannot control everything and mistakes WILL happen. It is incredibly hard to accept sometimes. However, once accepted, we are able to reflect, revise our thinking, and continue to let the light shine within us.
“Cause baby, you’re a firework
Come on, show ’em what you’re worth
Make ’em go, “Aah, aah, aah”
As you shoot across the sky-y-y
Baby, you’re a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make ’em go, “Aah, aah, aah”
You’re gonna leave them all in awe, awe, awe”
-Katy Perry “Firework”